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  • Helen Hui

Shoutout to my ex – thank you for teaching me self-love

Updated: Nov 29, 2021

Breaking up with someone is never a fun experience. The moment you walk away from them, you feel alone. We might cry ourselves to sleep for a while, accidentally drunk dial them one lonely night, or start doubting if we made the wrong decision to leave them, but these will eventually fade.


Separating from your ex is not the end of the world. A failed relationship teaches us love – how to love yourself, the one who truly deserves it.


Often in a break up, we act like everything is okay and continue with our 'normal life'. We may keep ourselves busy all the time, wishing that numbing our feelings will help us to move on as soon as possible. Nevertheless, it is a big issue, so take as much time as you need to heal.


Focus on getting your mind to the right place. Try meditating when your head is flooded with negative and unorganised thoughts. Acknowledge everything that pops up in your brain during the process, then organise and write them down in a journal. Sometimes we find it difficult to talk to others, so journaling can be a good way to vent and track our healing.


People always say, “you’re better off without them”, when we break up with someone – and, in most scenarios, it’s true. It’s time to prioritise your own goals. It’s okay to pay more attention to your schoolwork or your job. If you want to get healthier, you can try new workout programs or give a sport a go. If you want to travel or explore the world on your own, start saving up. If there is anything on your bucket list that you haven’t done, go for it. There’s nothing holding you back. Believe in yourself, make solid plans, and strive for what you deserve.


Always listen to what your body wants: run yourself a bath to help your muscles relax, follow a skincare routine, and cook delicious food to satisfy your stomach.


It may be easier said than done, but instead of dwelling on the heartbreak, use this time to work on yourself. From now on, put your goals, body and mind at the top of your priority list.


Edited by Pia Cooper

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