Is having a boyfriend embarrassing now?

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The back of the head, a hand on your arm, an additional plate on a dinner date; when did having a boyfriend become a cryptic secret only discovered by following a series of clues? Not only that, why are women so unwilling to admit that they are in a relationship, is it fear of the dreaded cringe or being labeled a ‘pick me girl’? Have boyfriends gone out of style?

The New British Vogue article has us questioning why, even during autumn, a season famous for the festering desire to cuddle up next to someone tall, dark and handsome, women are turning, even running away from the idea of being ‘cuffed’ to a boyfriend.

They argue that it avoids being seen as ‘cringe’ online, avoiding the inevitable embarrassment of having to remove all your posts if you break up, but I would argue it goes beyond that.

These days having a boyfriend almost means metamorphosis, changing your entire personality to become a ‘boyfriend girl’, someone who is a ‘we’ and an ‘us’ rather than a ‘me’, and includes shedding a portion of your own personal identity.

In a world that recognises ‘the cool girl’ as a woman with individuality and independence, is it truly the fact that romanticising your life no longer requires romance, at least not in the traditional sense.

It seems the narrative has flipped, single hood is no longer lonely and depressing, but freeing and exciting. With the influence of media like the Bridget Jones movies and the Sex in the City series, it seems the hunt for a boyfriend is what gives modern women more ‘main character energy’, this is where the fun lies. Do people even make movies about being in healthy, loving relationships?

I believe the truth lies one step further. Yes there has been a particular move towards the idea of women ‘filling their own cup’ and not needing a man to feel complete, but I think this move towards single hood is due to redefinition of what it means to love.

Personally I believe there has been a move towards feeling fulfilled by platonic love, and finding that love for friends holds just as much ,if not more, value as romantic love. Not only that, this love requires no sacrifice and no risk, you never see people soft launching their besties. Why? Because unconditional love you have with those closest to you doesn't require you to change your social media so that they fit, more importantly they don't require you to change yourself. If you have the unwavering, ever stylish love of your best friends, romantic love no longer feels like a necessity.

So yes boyfriends are out, best friends are in.

Edited by Abigail Hall