Next January, it will have been exactly one year since my boyfriend and I went long distance, and ten months since we last saw each other. We met in February 2019 when we were both students at Bangor University and had one very happy year together in the UK until his student visa expired.
We knew long distance would be a reality at some point, but not that it would last quite so long, or be as the result of a global pandemic with no clear end in sight.
It can feel like everything is working against you when you go long distance. Time differences, bad internet connection and probably most notably, the natural miscommunications that come from only being able to text or call.
When the physical side of your relationship is lost to long distance, you both have to work extra hard to remind one another that you are loved. A reassuring squeeze, a supportive hand on the shoulder or even just a cheeky glance can speak a thousand words. Not being able to do those things means that verbalising the trivial and sometimes obvious is essential.
Everyone wants to feel thought of and missed, so expressing it rather than keeping it to yourself can make someone feel that much more appreciated, even if it feels awkward for you.
Another long-distance must is being able to compromise – especially when you don’t want to. Timing a call or facetime that works for both of you is impossible most of the time (especially with a time difference) but finding a happy balance of inconvenience, is!
You may hate recording silly voice messages or sending pictures of your freshly made cream cheese bagel, but you know that for some (weird) reason, your partner (usually me) loves them. Small, thoughtful and selfless acts like this go a long way. If you are both in it together, then the burden of compromise tends to balance out.
It is important to remember that arguments are both an inevitable but necessary part of being long-distance. They help you hash things out, test each other’s limits and clear the air. I genuinely find myself laughing when I think back to some of the stupid arguments and mini spats I have had with my boyfriend. It just goes to show that if you can work through those together, you come out a lot stronger.
I don’t doubt that this time apart has tested my relationship and, at times, made me question its strength. But at least in our case, absence has absolutely made the heart grow fonder.
Edited by Pia Cooper