FEATURE: The palatable black girl and complexity of identity- a ‘Shea Butter Diaries’ article

At the age of 20, I am just now confronting the complexities of my identity as a black girl in the UK. I chose not to say black British girl as I don’t really view myself as truly being part of Britain. However, as someone raised in the UK, I also don't fully view myself as being part of Zimbabwe, my motherland, either.

In attempts to avoid truly acknowledging and exploring the complexity of different black girl identities and experiences, stereotypes have reduced black women to fit neatly into boxes. This often means girls who fall out of these boxes are then excluded and made to feel ‘othered’. Stereotypes of black girls in the UK are dangerous in that they perpetuate harmful ideas including- that black girls are tough, aggressive, hypersexual, and to be disrespected.

When black girls surprise our society by going against the grain, they are then tokenized and made into symbols of what all black girls should aim to be like in order to gain acceptance in a majority-white society. Quietness, obedience, academic excellence, and being soft-spoken are all attributes which are used to paint the image of "you’re not like other black girls".

This palatability can grant certain privileges in society including access to better-paying jobs, greater opportunities for networking, and full integration into workplaces. Being palatable is one of my personal fears; to be chosen as the token black girl and the exemption to someone's discriminatory behaviour.

I first started thinking about this during secondary school. When my black friends would relay their accounts of punishment, chastising, and other incidents our white peers were not encountering, I noticed that my ability to relate was different. My experiences were of comments including "you speak so well", sometimes teachers showing great surprise at my contributions in class discussions and my level of work, all while smiling and seeming to like me.

Exceeding an imaginary bar for girls who look like me meant I didn’t face as much hostility as my black friends did in and out of school. It’s only in hindsight I can see this clearly and it makes me feel frustrated and angered.

I never want to be an exceptional black girl at the cost of other black girls. I adore the sisterhood amongst black women, the companionship, the comfort, the love, and the rituals like hair braiding and dance. I’m unmoved by the notion of gaining acceptance into other circles, not when it'll cost me my pride in who I am and will cause harm to black girls who are different from me.

I love us loud black girls, us quiet black girls, us black girls who love to write, and us black girls who'd rather recite Flo Milli lyrics. We can do it all too.

Whilst I didn’t aim to get this kind of attention and interaction, some black women do decide to make themselves more palatable. To me, this is evident in the ‘black girl luxury’ movement. Buying clothing that makes you look like ‘old money’, abandoning hoops and sneakers as ‘unclassy’ for heels and pearls, and shaming popular trends like brightly coloured wigs are all part and parcel in becoming the idealised luxury black woman.

It brings women closer to white ideals for the sake of being seen as a ‘lady’. As simple aesthetic choices, there is nothing wrong with Chanel tweed and neutral colour palettes, however, the movement currently perpetuates anti-blackness by shaming the rich history of black women’s fashion. It's also male-centred in that part of the aesthetic involves the goal to attract ‘high value’ men who are wealthy which means the aesthetic is also a performance for the male gaze.

The conscious decision to become more palatable poses more danger in my opinion. Having Eurocentric beauty standards imposed by other black women can be done in a way that shames black women and discourages them from being their true selves- a message being received directly from faces and bodies similar to theirs.

There is no rule book when it comes to identity; a 26-inch pink lace frontal isn’t incompatible with being an eloquent speaker and while aligning yourself with western standards can afford certain privileges, misogynoir, colourism, featurism, and texturism are all issues which still will create barriers.

In rejecting palatability, I am rejecting the idea that black women must appear and act in a certain way in order to be respected.

Black women shouldn't have to face harm for how they dress, nor should they be excluded from opportunities because of how they pronounce certain words or have their actions misinterpreted for hostility. There is no mould from which all black women are cast; there are no universal laws dictating how we should look and act.

De-centring whiteness as a social standard needs to be done in order for black women to flourish. In doing so, we liberate one of the most marginalised groups meaning that all groups can then be set free from the pressures of code-switching and identity-shifting just to be taken seriously.

Edited by Nadia Lincoln.