Hook-up culture is one of the institutions that you are almost certain to encounter in some way, shape or form while at university and, for many students, it is something that can easily become a defining characteristic of their lives.
Popular media presents hook-up culture as engaging in casual, no-strings-attached sex without developing any emotional connection to the person you are sleeping with. While this is a surface-level definition, I do think it is largely accurate and sums up my personal experience with hook-up culture quite well.
When I first started attending university in 2018, I threw myself deep into hook-up culture as a way to impress my new flatmates and get over an ex. I wanted people to view me as desirable, even though I didn’t feel that way myself, and neglected to think of the long-term consequences of my actions.
I became more depressed as I realised that, even with the validation of the people I was hooking up with, I did not feel any more loved than I did before and, if anything, my experience with hook-up culture left me feeling more alone than ever. That is not to say that I think hook-up culture is inherently bad, however, I do think that it is important to ensure that you are partaking in hook-up culture because you want to and not because of societal pressure to sleep around.
With the focus on going out and getting drunk which accompanies many undergraduate experiences, it can be very easy to feel pressured to hook up with people in clubs and bars just to fit in with other people. When all you are seeing both around you and in popular media revolves around getting drunk and sleeping around, it can be easy to fall into the trap of thinking that that is considered the norm - that hook-up culture is not only expected of students but encouraged.
Similarly, engaging in hook-up culture does not mean you have to continue to participate in it more than once. There can be a fear of saying no to sexual advances, particularly amongst women, that can be amplified when you have previously said yes in similar situations.
In my experience, this is largely a result of the way society likes to box people into personality archetypes, and breaking out of your assigned role is one of the hardest things to do. If you are branded as someone who likes to have casual sexual experiences with multiple people, there becomes an expectation that you are easy to get with. This can add
extra pressure into an already stressful and often scary situation, making saying no harder.
A study by Louisiana State University found that “hook-up culture endorsement was the largest predictor of rape myth acceptance” which only emphasises how important it is for anyone engaging in hook-up culture to fully understand consent and that it is always okay to
say no.
However, hook-up culture can be a very positive experience for many people and can really help to develop your own knowledge of your body and what you enjoy sexually. University is well known for being a time to find yourself, and becoming more aware of your body and sexual preferences is a big part of that journey.
One of the benefits of hook-up culture is that it normalises going out and having sexual experiences with multiple different people, allowing you to really find out what you like and reminding us that it is okay not to settle for the first person that you meet.
For people struggling with their sexuality, hook-up culture makes it possible to go out and experiment without the pressure of settling down with someone and can help to build stronger relationships in the long run as your confidence, both generally and sexually, is increased. Plus, for many people, hook-up culture can result in some genuinely enjoyable encounters. At the end of the day, just because there are societal pressures associated with sleeping around does not mean it can be fun and pleasurable for everyone involved.
Ultimately, regardless of the reasons that someone may have for partaking in hook-up culture, the most important thing to take into account is sexual health. Contraception is an extremely important consideration for anyone who is, or is considering becoming, sexually active.
I would suggest always carrying some condoms on a night out, even if you don’t plan to use them, as you never know when you or a friend will need them. It is always better to be over-prepared than it is to be caught off guard.
If you are considering other forms of contraception such as the pill, the implant or the coil it is worth speaking to a doctor about the pros and cons of each to figure out which is best for you.
It is also vitally important to get regular STI screenings to ensure that you are not putting yourself or your future partners at risk down the line. The mayo clinic recommends that you get tested once a year if you are sexually active to ensure good sexual health.
So, do I think that hook-up culture should be completely accepted? Yes, I do.
There needs to be more productive conversation surrounding safe sex, consent and feeling comfortable with the way in which you use your body. Ultimately, slut shaming and looking down on people who are more sexually active is not going to prevent them from partaking in hook-up culture, however, talking openly about staying safe may help them to avoid the potential consequences in the long run.
Regardless of whether you are a sexually liberated person exploring your sexuality and having fun or you are simply going through a hard time, it is far more important to openly accept hook-up culture and talk about how to be safe and comfortable within it, than it is to shame people for how they chose to use their bodies.
Edited by Nadia Lincoln.