Desperate December: is love actually all around or is it in our heads?

Darker days and colder nights bring an innate craving for cuddling close. If the crazy amount of love on your screen is anything to go by you’ll be looking for a new, possibly complicated ‘situationship’.

Can you casually go about Christmas with someone when there are the markets, the movie nights, the ‘Oh, I saw this and thought of you!’, and the incessant nostalgia? It’s a cosy winter wish come true. You’ll be bundled into their arms atop the Ferris Wheel before you have a second to question, and re-question actual compatibility.

It feels like love, so it must be, right?

Bonding over elaborate dinner parties, cooking, setting the table, getting fancy, getting tipsy, cosy on the couch with a hot chocolate- it’s inescapable, and certainly not casual.

Do these short-term relationships work though? Sure they quash the loneliness and let us play out our hopeless winter romances. Will we be warming each other's hands in some cobbled street strung with Christmas lights, the winter air having turned our fingers a bright and bitter red?

This hurried relationship is unceremoniously and abruptly questioned, as Valentine’s Day breaks the Christmas trance. Valentine’s is when couples must declare whether they are to be or not to be.

The yearning for connection is heightened by subliminal messages that whisper from every storefront and advert; they bear news of unbounded love. Love that comes wrapped in a beautiful big red ribbon. Does this propel the feeling of real attachment?

When a relationship is built off the back of longing, it may reveal itself less passionate when the illuminating brightness and longer days of spring arrive- two people are left naked and unsure why they are even holding hands. The bells, the carols, the lights, the food, the films, the gifts have all stopped- What was this again? Who actually are you?

A relationship that combats the winter blues has its advantages though, every extended family member who comes prying into your love life- to feel some sort of vicarious excitement at your young liberal love -can be met with a proud ‘ah no, not single.’ How exciting?! Now you’re not the focus of that pitying reassurance, that ‘oh, but you will find someone’, and a series of half-assed compliments can be dodged.

But is entering one of these fleeting relationships really good for your heart, your mind, your soul? You may find yourself ignoring red flags, or under the pressure of family to maintain this love. You may feel you have lost yourself to the urge for love and companionship. If in doubt always trust your gut feeling and don’t be afraid to make a mistake, sometimes it’s the only way we learn what we really want and need.

Edited by Larissa Kirby