Over the past 13 months it’s not surprising that very few of us are the same people we were last March. Lockdown has presented it’s fair share of ups and downs, but it’s also forced me to learn things I never would’ve considered before, or changed my perspective on things in such an unexpected fashion. Most of these are things I already kind of knew, but this past year hammered home just how important the little things are.
The first of these lessons is that my friends are unequivocally the most important people in my life. Over the past year, while we have all spent most of it literally isolated from our social circles, I have been lucky enough to be surrounded by people that have made sure I never feel alone. It’s a testament to the effort that we have all put into each other. And I think that’s the imperative word here - effort. It’s taken effort to check in with all my friends time and time again, even when I’m low on energy. But the payoff is incredible. To know that I have a sounding board of honest, thoughtful friends to bounce ideas off of, unload any heavy baggage to, or to just sit and watch the entire Twilight franchise over facetime together is a gift I hope I never take for granted.
The second lesson I’ve learnt is that I’ve finally relearnt what my personal style is. Because of spending most of my free time alone, in my bedroom, or alone, shopping at Morrisons - I’ve not been swayed as much by the small cyclical trends as I was previously. This past year has given me pause to reevaluate what my relationship is with fashion, and to really understand the reasons behind my building up certain outfits. Without being influenced by what’s currently “fashionable” I had to consider what it is that I find to be fashionable, and it’s been so freeing. Finally feeling comfortable in the clothes in my wardrobe; to branch out and experiment in a safe space before venturing back out into public life again.
Lesson number three doesn’t come as much as a surprise, and really it’s common sense but this past year has shown how important your bedroom is to your general wellbeing. Considering I have spent nearly every day sitting on my bed for the past 13 months, making sure it’s consistently clean, tidy, and full of things that fills me with joy is imperative to having a good week. And this is coming from someone who hates cleaning with a passion, but making the effort to at least clear things away at the end of the week makes such a difference. As does treating myself to a nice smelling candle, and some flowers every once in a while. I’m my own best company, and I know how to treat myself well.
Among all the deep, introspective lessons I’ve learnt this year, I’ve also learnt things on a much smaller scale, namely crochet. With all this time on our hands, it was the perfect environment to learn a new skill. But despite the general goodness that comes from widening your skill set, the thing I enjoyed the most was the beauty of discovering a hobby just for the sake of it. No pressure to commodify it, or doing something in an unconscious way to impress the people around me, it was simply a new hobby that distracted me. The satisfaction I felt after finally mastering it (after nearly crying at 2 am because i just couldn’t get it), was unparalleled. It was such a small achievement, but I felt so damn proud of myself, and it’s so important to celebrate each and every win, no matter how small. Oh, and another bonus from learning crochet? It got me off my phone for a few hours, which is something you never really realise you need a break from until you’ve had some time away and just feel so much lighter almost instantly.
Speaking of your phone, the final lesson that i learnt this year, is that boundaries are even more important than ever. Over the past year, I have definitely become hyper aware that because we’re all at home, and thus in some sort of proximity to some sort of device, that we are consequently under some sort of obligation to be contactable at all times of the day. But it’s so important to really shut off every once a while. You don’t have to reply to every text that you get straight away. You don’t need to see that instagram DM right this second. You don’t have to pick up every call you get as soon as the ring. You don’t need to make yourself available to anyone and everyone at all hours of the day. If people have an issue with that, then maybe those people aren’t your kind of tribe, and that’s ok. That’s also another reason why your friends are so important - the right kind of friends understand, and respect these boundaries that you set yourself.
Edited by Pia Cooper